My baby is sick, we need help.

So after the appointment with the allergist, I got a call from the GI that they indeed had a cancellation come up. We met with Dr. Villalona and I told him with tearful eyes, "Something is wrong with her, I need help, she deserves answers". He asked a few odd questions.

Has she been tested for corn? No, but she eats it.
Does she cough and choke on things that she isn't allergic to? Yes, see, look at this video, and that's just a cup of water!

Dr. Villalona explained to me that to ensure she is thriving and doing well, she needs to be gaining 8gr/day, and she has been averaging 2gr/day since last September. She hasn't gained any weight since her birthday last September and has held her 22lb.

Her immune system is spiraling down and terribly dangerous, especially in the midst of flu season. We can't afford for her to get sick again, not after the last tummy bug that kicked her butt.

He suggested it's time to Scope her and see whats going on. He believes she may have Celiac Disease or maybe even Eosinophilic Esophagitis, EE. He will do an Upper Endoscopy and biopsy her esophagus, stomach, small and large intestines and that should give us the answers we are looking for, at least if nothing else it will rule two of the most likely things out.

The nurse came in and gave me several cans of formula, she is so sweet and our insurance isn't covering Elecare. AK ordered another case last week but it still isn't in, and the worst thing in the world that can happen is not to have food to feed your hungry child! We took our lab slips and ran upstairs with 20m left to spare at LabCorp to begin the bloodwork for surgery scheduled the following Thursday, March 21st.. that date sounds awfully familiar.

Only three sticks this time to get blood and they were done. Thank Heavens! I don't know why but that little girl has the toughest veins to draw blood from, every visit to LabCorp is heartbreaking. We got home again, around 6:30p, exhausted and heartbroken. What if my baby has Celiac Disease?! :( I began my week long of researching.

The next day I called the GI back and asked to reschedule the procedure. March 21st IS a big day. It's Madelynne's Birthday and also the day of my big, big meeting at work that I can't reschedule. We moved it to March 25th, the following Monday. Which is a good thing - it allowed for me to have my meeting and focus on getting ready for that, Mady's birthday was all about HER, we could throw two birthday parties and then put all the fun behind us and get back to reality on Monday and do the procedure.

I called the hospital and my insurance to make sure everything was covered and also get an idea of what we were looking like, cost wise. That conversation went a lot like this.

$5,000 immediate out of pocket
Then insurance pays 70%, I pay 30% until we reach $16,666.

It looks like at a minimum I will be paying, $8,918 for this procedure. Why the hell do we even pay insurance when every year I am forking out $20-30,000!! There goes our new house, again! Heartbreaking doesn't begin to touch how we feel about these bills. We work, hard, everyday and try to do well, everyday. We didn't ask for an unhealthy child, that's the gift we were given to be this blessing of a little girls parents and to be her best advocate to fight for what makes her thrive, smile and get the most out of life. It's just a shame that politically speaking - I work my butt off to make money, just to be screwed by insurances and government to have to pay ALL this money, because I make it. If I didn't have a job, this wouldn't be a conversation, all these expenses would be free. I have too much pride to take the ignorant way out, but gosh it makes me so mad! We deserve a nice house that we fit in and dream of!! We make the money to do it! We just get to drown in unnecessary medical bills instead. A constant frustration, that's for sure.

Anywho. In the meantime, I have been conscious of what to feed Annabelle and keep an eye out for the Gluten Free sections in the grocery store to see what may be in store for our future. Deep down I am worried sick about the procedure but I am trying my best to stay occupied and busy! Soon, were getting so close to answers and they just can't come soon enough!

Im in over my head. This winter HAS to end!

The last couple weeks have been hard. Very hard and trying to say the least. 2013 so far has sucked for us, January was a struggle and February just plain sucked. Let me give you some of the highlights.

Belle: Croup round 1, 2 and three.

Belle: Double ear infections

Mady: Sinus Infection

Mady: Upper Respiratory Infection

Both: Strep tests positive, testing for cultures

Both: Constant, non-stop, never-ending colds and snotty noses

Finally, the stomach bug from hell.

All this crap began around Christmas. Slowly we all started getting sick and the girls have been taking turns keeping AK and I out of work the best they can. It's embarassing how much time we have lost from work. One afternoon, I was on my way home from working out of town and Kelly called, it was the FIRST break from the 30 degree weather we have had, it was 60s and the kids NEEDED the fresh air so she asked if I would like to join her at the park. I agreed, I picked up Mady early and met Kelly at the park. The kids played but Annabelle was very monotone. While pushing her on the swings, AK called me.

AK: Hey hun. How are you?

Me: Hey! Im good. At the park with the kids, meeting Kelly. When are you coming home? You should join us! It's beautiful outside today!

AK: Yea, about that. I have this job that needs to go out tomorrow morning at 5am and I some things just came up that I need to work on. I'll be here pretty late.

Me: Ok.. so how late? Like after dinner? Do I wait for you to go to bed? How late?

AK: Well. It's going out at 5am. So yea.... that

I looked at Kelly and said, "Well. My husband won't be home and yours is out of town. Why don't we go out on a hot date together? ...with the kids too of course. Chick-Fil-A?"

During dinner, Annabelle pooped. It smelled horrible and I just knew it would be a mess so I decided we were all finished anyway and I would wait until I got home to clean her up so I could give her a bath. When I opened the back door in our driveway, my jaw fell to the group. She was sitting in a pool flood of feces. Im not even kidding. She could literally splash in it. I didn't even know what to do! I couldn't figure out how to get her out and upstairs without ruining everything in our path! I ran in and grabbed a towel. Pulled her out the carseat and ran upstairs and pushed the rug to the hallway. That became my battle zone. The poor baby couldn't stop pooping. I gave her a bath and 10min later she did it again. Again, I CANNOT describe the amount of fluid that can come from that child.. Mady was right beside me, doing her best to help although I asked her to stay away. She would get me plastic bags. I would bag the trash (diapers, disposable cloths.. sometimes clothes) and tell her to carry it downstairs and throw it outside! lol. I didn't have time run laps! I was in over my head and already changed myself twice from being pooped on twice. Finally. I gave Annabelle a couple cups of water to hydrate, she started to slow down and I was able to pull the messes and house together. I bathed and scrubbed Mady. Got her in bed and came downstairs to begin scrubbing everything else.. doing incredible amounts of laundry and dismantle the Hazmat condition of a carseat.

That's when I texted AK, "You could not have picked a more perfect night away to be unreachable at work. Our house is going down. Ive been pooped on twice and everything in the car and second floor is covered in your kids poop. Either hurry and help or stay far away!"

He texted back: Now I know why my stomach hurts so bad... Im on my way home.

When he got home, he threw up for about 30min straight. Again, I did more laundry. He was up and down all night sick. Each time he got up, I went upstairs and changed Annabelle's diaper to keep her dry. The rest of the week was equally shitty. We battled who would stay home because we both needed to be at work. Friday was our Anniversary and I asked AK to stay home so I could go to two of my meetings, one of which was at an off-site substation. He grumbled and agreed. I promised to be home at lunchtime. Noon rolls around and the guys at the substation are just finishing up, I felt so bad for AK but had to tell him I would be late.. he was ticked. I got back to the office, cancelled my second meeting and said I was on my way home.. until I went outside and my tire was flat. Called him again - he was furious. As if somehow it was my fault! We were all just tired and frustrated. The weekend was spent helping Annabelle get over the tummy bug that she just couldn't seem to kick.

Monday. The first day Annabelle is feeling better. Mady had an appointment with the Orthopedic doctor and took another xray of her shoulder. Miracles and prayers were answered! She's healing!! No more surgery!! I took her to school and went home to let Belle nap. Annabelle had an appointment with the allergist at 2:45pm. I met AK for lunch, then ran around for a few before getting to the allergist 15m early. We began a test to determine if the Rice Milk I have been giving her for two months was making her sick. Annabelle screamed the entire time I talked to the doctor trying to explain things.

Then my phone vibrates, it's Mady's teacher from school: Mady just threw up all over the table.

I am already on the verge of tears because of the last two months. Annabelle has been sick and we haven't slept for a week and a half straight. The doctor visit is enough to make someone jump out the window.

My response: You're kidding.
Mrs. Davis: Nope. She's thrown up everything. Can you come get her now?

I had to make AK leave work AGAIN and go get Mady. I couldn't walk out of the visit with Annabelle because it's a very important visit for us. She's had a lot of issues lately and I fear they have everything to do with allergies so I needed to stay.

We got home that evening at 6:15pm from the allergist. It was horrible. Belle is indeed allergic to Rice, among many many other things including HIGHLY allergic to trees, molds, pollen etc. The spring promises to be SUPER fun for her :( We were placed on Neocate formula because we have now eliminated every single milk on the market, and tightened down the diet even more. Once we got home. she spent the next two days vomiting the Neocate.. projectile vomiting, including all over the dinner table not 3min after we sat down to eat. I decided to move her myself back to Elecare and she is doing much better on that instead.

Mady spent her night vomiting every 30min until there was just nothing left on her poor little tummy. I pulled bed sheets downstairs and took the pillows off the couch. I made Mady and I a perfect comfy bed on the couch and laid a towel on the floor that held: a bucket. wet washcloth. sippy cup of water. tv remote. At 11pm I gave her an old Zofran that I had leftover from my pregnancy with Annabelle. That slowed the vomiting to every hour until 3am when she started every 30min again for a couple hours. At 5:30a I walked into the bedroom and told AK I needed to tap out and sleep before going to work. I slept for an hour and somehow managed to drag myself thru the day. By the time I was home, Mady was bouncing all over the house and eating everything in sight with no issues! Thank goodness! I hate seeing my babies so sick :(

For Annabelle, we are meeting the GI Specialist this Thursday because I keep pestering them to find me a cancellation and see us asap. The poor little girl is miserable. She cries allllll.theeeee.timeeeee! She is always hungry. I feel just so terrible for her! I think the smartest decision is to remove her from all foods all together and let her little system relax. The longer you're exposed to allergens, the weaker your immune system becomes. The fact that it took Annabelle 9 days to get over a tummy bug that took the rest of the family 1 day tells me that her system isn't doing so great. She needs help and I am on a mission to get the poor kid answers soon. I promise her I will!

Im sure there are a million other misc. things that keep trying to knock our little family down but we keep picking up the pieces. This winter, for sure, hasn't been very nice to us at all. We cannot wait for spring and summer and I cannot wait to find answers for Annabelle. Mady has a birthday coming very soon! Scooby-Doo for her FOURTH birthday! I cannot believe it's already been FOUR years. Heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time.

One day I will look back at the blink of these memories.. until then, Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming...