Life's pain is simply weighing me down.

I'm not really sure where I plan to go with this post, I just need an escape from life.. from the evil, pain, heartache, crime, hate that brews all around us.

I don't know how I have gotten to this point, or why I am seeing the things I am now. Maybe my mid-twenties and the people close to me are just in the age and place for such things to happen, or maybe it is exactly what I keep shaking my head about, "This world is simply full of hate and heartache".

In the past weeks alone, I have watched two friends loose their newborn children. A terrible, malicious crime happen in my family. People I know were evicted from their homes. And a friend announced her battle with cancer while another announced she is ending her fight. My head spins, my heart aches immensely for these people. I hate to question God, but I find myself almost every night in tears of frustration for why such things keep happening -to good people-. I understand I am not supposed to understand or questions god's plan, I cant possible expect myself to comprehend why people do the things to do, and I certainly do not have the knowledge to solve the mystery of cancer. I just see more and more people around me suffering day to day.

Everyday tragedies happen, everyday crimes take place and every minute a family looses a mother, father, child, sister, brother etc. I know... I have just never been so closely exposed to such things, and am having a really hard time comprehending it.

This is not a burden/pain/weight I can carry on my own shoulders..
I confess:

• My heart has never felt so heavy in my life.
• I have never questioned God's choices so much.
• I feel guilty some days for bringing my daughter into such a world.

And I pray for all of you... I admire the strength you continue to show.. thru pains no one should ever have to face, but do, without a question or a doubt.. you push thru life, finding strength within yourselves and thru god. You are all admirably strong, far stronger than I am.

My promise to myself; I will try to always see the good in this world, I have too much to be thankful and appreciative for.

I do appreciate all the small things.
Am thankful everyday for my beautiful, healthy daughter.
Have a warm, loving husband to hold each night.
Own a perfect home with valuable possessions.
Maintain a stable job with a guaranteed income.
And am surrounded with an amazing group of family and friends who would never let me fall.

I am an extremely lucky woman and blessed beyond belief. This world can quickly consume us with the pain, crime, fast-paced materialistic society we live in.. I must remind myself that these are not the things god intended for us to think about. But to be thankful for the life we have and the good that does surround us. Not become blind or distracted by life's curve-balls, but the way we handle such situation defines the better person we all want to become. I promise to try everyday to become a better person tomorrow, and thankful for all that is given to me and pray for those that hurt and doubt their strength among life's tragedy's.

Life Rant Over.

Take the high road baby..

As you most know-- I . Love . Football . My family loves football, my dear-sweet husband loves football and as should my kid. AND being she is my chic-child, Mommy must have her dressed to the -T- sporting her Redskin's Jersey (bc I am unable to find a toddler Minnesota Jersey, dont worry, its coming), Jeans, new kicks etc.

We are out shopping the first Sunday of Football Kickoff Season, Skins v. Cowboys play that evening, so we are doing errands, ie. picking up chips, salsa, wings, booze, the works. We stop in Arby's for lunch and walk in. Mady is standing beside AK and I as two little boys, ages guesstimated between 3-5. They look directly at her, point, laugh and begin:

"Redskins .. DEADSKINS"
"Your team SUCKS Little girl!!"
"Booooooo Redskins" etc etc.

Mady is smiling, 100% oblivious that she is being picked on. I find myself burning holes into these tiny kids heads by my looks. (Full-blown protective mommy-mode.. this is new to me.) Finally, the parents chuckle and tell them to stop. It doesn't work at all.. they persist.

Eventually she looks up at both of us, confused because I think she is catching on that these kids are apparently NOT her friends... She looks back at them, looks at us and finally... my baby girl takes the high road.

She throws both arms stright up in the air for "TOUCHDOWN" Laughs her head off hysterically and reaches for our hand and we move on.

I was so proud of my 18mo. You go girl, way to be the bigger person.... I bet those obnoxious Cowboy fans were quite disappointed that night when we beat them 14-9!! Whoop, Whoop!!