A tiny miracle is about to bless our family, coming this fall!
I have been enjoying life to the fullest, looking around at all the beauty in the world and finally coming to terms and finding myself everyday thankful for our greatest gift in this life -- our Madelynne Marie. We were a family of three and it finally felt comfortable. We weren't out numbered, we could easily tag team our 2 year old. She had everything she needed and our house worked for us perfectly. We were thankful. Then, God gave me comfort in my tears, he granted us with the most amazing blessing in this world -- another sweet child to complete our family. The news to me came as the biggest shock, my mind raced and wandered in so many directions in that instant, I didn't even know was possible. Time stood still. The clock stopped and seconds felt like hours with all the thoughts / fears / dreams etc. that crossed my mind. In the same moment that I picked my jaw from the floor, I burst into tears. It's amazing how learning such incredible news can make you look at the entire world differently, yourself, your family, your home, society... God. It became my mission and promise to myself and the new baby that was holding on tight growing inside me, that I would do anything and everything in my power to give him/her the best chance to this life. I vow to love you unconditionally, kiss boo-boo's, hurt when you hurt, care for you, provide and nourish you to the best of my ability. I will pray for you, everyday. I felt the same overwhelming emotion the moment I read a positive test from Madelynne, I remember sitting in my bed (on my birthday), talking to my flat belly and promising her that I would be the best mommy I could be to her. Children make you want to be such a better person, you're their idle, their role model. It's MY responsibilty to teach and raise them to be the best little people they can be. That does not begin at the moment of their birth, but the moment you become pregnant. From the instant I found out we were expecting another little one, I became a mother of two. TWO! Wow, that sounds bizarre to me.. it will eventually become natural ;)
We had a really rough start to this pregnancy, lots of scares and unknown's but overall, we made it thru the darkest of weeks and propelled right along.
16 weeks
At 16wks, I began having more complications that deemed additional ultrasounds necessary. The ultrasound tech we were 'Oo-so-lucky' to see (she's a total snot), did her usual, looking around, taking measurments, and hardly showing us anything. I had just faced all my biggest fears that morning, my heart was a nervous wreck... until I finally heard the most amazing sound of -woosh-woosh-woosh- Yes. The baby was just fine :) I relaxed and allowed her to finish. Finally at the end, I prodded, because I needed to know! "May I see the sex?" She immediately responded and told me it's too early, that she cannot say. "I don't need YOU to say anything, if you would just show ME, I would love to take a guess for myself, I promise not to paint a nursery yet!" She reluctantly obliged. One look is all it took and I peared over at AK's face, priceless. He smirked and pointed at Mady "This is your doing! You wished so hard for a 'baby siss-er' that you got your wish little girl!"
Later that week, again, our hearts sank. I received a call from my OB that early screening that had been conducted for the past several weeks, indicated we had tested positive for a Neural Tube Defect. Specifically for Spina Bifida. We were immediately scene with the Perinatology Unit @ CJW and met Dr. Christmas. He began another high-tech ultrasound with other nurses and gave us much relief that he did NOT believe our little one had Spina Bifida. He gave us options. We could find out at that moment by doing an Amnio specifically for genetic disorders, or we could take his advice, go home, and sleep sound. Because I was 16wks along, and termination was NOT a consideration, we choose to leave the office and enjoy a couple more weeks with only good results from the doctor, I didn't want an Amnio to confirm anything different to make me upset so early in the pregnancy so we waited and scheduled an appt. 4 weeks later for a follow-up. Before the doctor left, he sincerly spoke to us, and asked AK if there was anything he could say or do to calm our fears or answer any questions. AK responded "Dr. unless you can put a penis on that little girl, I think we are pleased with everything else you have given us today, thank you."
As much as her daddy tried to find invisible additional body parts on every ultrasound for weeks, our Amnio at 20 weeks confirmed with 99.95% accuracy, she is indeed, a sweet BABY GIRL!!
20 weeks
Our 20wk check-up was wonderful. Finally, we were getting to appointments where there was less and less to discuss and Dr. Hyde was pleased... except of course, with my weight loss. I had lost another 5lbs in 2weeks. But the baby looked great. I also had a follow-up with the Perinatologist that week. Ms. Annabelle was upside down, with her legs tightly crossed, her arms along each side of her face and she faced my spine... wide awake-- but not willing to move (again, she is SO mine!) Despite efforts of rotating my bed, switching positions and standing up, she would not move. Most measurements were taken that they needed and with the assistance of the 4D ultrasound (SUPER COOL!!!) Dr. Christmas was able to show us her sweet face. She was beautiful. Adorable. (And don't tell AK, but I think she looks like me!! Cross fingers!)
We also did further looking around to get another promised diagonosis of no Spina Bifida, but do to her positioning, it was tough to tell. I decided at that time, to allow the doctor to proceed with the Amnio to give us our 100% test results on Annabelle. He sent the test off for everything under the sun, and within two weeks, the hospital called with our results, that she was perfectly healthy and we have nothing to worry about. :)
25 weeks
I am now at a whopping, day shy of 25 weeks! I cannot believe how fast time has flown. Just yesterday I was picturing my family as three and now I blink and I am googling little girl nurseries for hours on hours. I couldn't be happier. I didn't know my heart could hold so much love for an innocent sweet child that I haven't met. I didn't know how lucky and utterly BLESSED of a person I am for all the things I have in this life. God has given me another child, he gave her to me because he knew I was what she needed and she was that small part of my heart that needed fufilling. My life is complete. My heart is so warm and full of love I simply want to shout it from roof-tops!! This sweet, healthy baby girl has a huge family and lots of wonderful friends that cannot wait to meet her. My job for now is to take care and cook her as long as earthly possible, as I will, she can take as long as she needs until she is ready to enter our lives and melt us all with her perfect disposition and personality.
I love her so much already. <3 <3 <3