Time is flying and I can’t believe it. People say it all the time, heck, I tell new moms everyday that the time will fly and it just becomes a stale, repetitive statement we hear. But really – My babies are 3 years old and 7mo! Since when do I have kids?! AK and I are only dating, what do you mean that our next anniversary will be FIVE years?! That’s amazing. A blessing.
The last couple weeks and moreso the last couple days, when people ask the ages of the girls I say, “Well, Madelynne here just turned three and Annabelle is now 6mo”. Then I looked at the calendar, Mady turned three over a month ago, and Annabelle is SEVEN months old. Whoops! They’re doing so much. Life has been so hectic on them the past couple weeks, things have been so upside down, but I think we’re all adjusting well.
Letting go of Aidyn was hard. It hurt, a lot. The day we dropped him off I had to give myself a pep-talk about a hundred times; until I saw AK crying and then I lost it. We both love him unconditionally. I don’t what was so hard, seeing how far he had come during his time with us.. knowing he won’t be going into a home that would continue to guide him on the best path.. the hurt of missing someone in our family.. I think most my pain comes from his little heart, I don’t want him to ever hurt, be scared, sad, confused or anything. I hope this transition was good for him and he is happy. No matter what makes his happiness, I hope he is happy and smiling, that is all.
Move forward a month. Things feel “right”. Not to say that having Aidyn in our home ever felt wrong, we just felt outnumbered, which we were! Having three kids that close in age was never mine or AK’s intention. We chose to have kids with age between them so they will be at different stages at different times. Eventually they will get to common ground, but not until we can spend time, learn, love and grow with each of them individually first. That probably doesn’t make sense.. but over a couple drinks and long discussions over how we want our family to look, that is the plan we came up with. We now have our family structure the way we planned. I love it, I was so worried that it would feel lonely, quiet or sad without Aidyn, but I believe this is what my family is supposed to look and feel like. (..and that makes me feel guilty. L )
Madelynne is so happy now. Her little spell of testing every.single.boundary. is almost over. I think we are now left with normal three-year old behavior that I need to iron out. She wants to test a lot of routine things such as eating dinner: she doesn’t want to try her veggies, which she has always loved. Bedtime: she plays the best game of procrastination I’ve ever seen instead of just lying down. (Please refer to book: Go The F*^K To Sleep). But nothing beyond what I would expect a three-year old to face me with. This weekend was spent doing a lot of yard work, house work and relaxing at home with our little family. I cannot put into words how important this time was for us, and how perfect timing it came.
Friday night was movie night. We changed into jammies, picked out a movie (The Muppets), and made our movie snack concoction of popcorn, gummy bears, m&m’s, raisins & craisins. Mommy made a happy drink, and Mady got more milk. We gathered a blanket and found our places on the couches. Within two minutes of the movie starting, Mady came over to me with her bowl and asked, “Mommy, may I eat popcorn and snuggle with you tonight?”. This was the first time in quite a while that she’s wanted to be lovey with me. She curled up and rested her head in my arm and looked up: “You my best fwiend, in the hoe wide wowld!” She melted me. I squeezed her so tight and we watched our movie together.
I love spending this one on one time with her. All weekend she reminded me how pretty I was and I returned the compliment. She asked me to be her friend forever, and I promised. She wanted me to sit beside her at the restaurant and I was delighted to. We were little BFF’s and I had my daughter back. Mady is such a resilient little girl. I don’t know that I will ever be able to express to her how proud I am of her braveness over this past year. She wouldn’t understand if I tried. What is important is that she’s allowing me to show her again how important she is to ME. In my tight hugs, extra kisses and telling her how happy she makes me, she is starting to see that she is a much loved, special little girl. I love her with all my heart and have a lot of work to do to make up to her these last 9mo of having Aidyn. She really went thru a mini-hell with the transitions in our home, but I am proud to see how well she maintained her sweet disposition and sincerity.
Mady saying Grace at the dinner table
Annabelle is 7mo. I can’t believe it! She’s wearing 9mo-12mo clothes because eating is her favorite past time and she is becoming such a happy little baby.
Belle is definitely, without a doubt Daddy’s Girl. I don’t know if that is because he is the one that gets up with her in the middle of the night every night, or if she just chooses him over me – just like Mady chooses mommy over daddy. We each get one kid and that feels perfect :)
After only a week at the new sitter’s, I brought Annabelle home that Friday afternoon and laid her in the floor and walked to the kitchen – when I came back in, she was on her hands and knees rocking back and forth! What?! Really my child, the first week I let you go somewhere else and I find a day job, you start doing big things?! This month has been a HUGE month for Annabelle. She sleeps thru the night (Thank. God.) She goes to bed around 7-730p and if she wakes it’s around 530a only to eat and then back down until 730a. She holds her own bottle for every feeding. Now that she is closer to 8mon, she has learned to sit herself from a crawling position, onto her butt to sit! There isn’t a place in the room that she cannot get to by rolling / army crawling / scooting and pulling her legs together behind her etc. She wants so badly to be mobile and crawl. She jumps so high and hard, I swear she is going to break the jumparoo but she loves it!
Belle is definitely, without a doubt Daddy’s Girl. I don’t know if that is because he is the one that gets up with her in the middle of the night every night, or if she just chooses him over me – just like Mady chooses mommy over daddy. We each get one kid and that feels perfect :)
After only a week at the new sitter’s, I brought Annabelle home that Friday afternoon and laid her in the floor and walked to the kitchen – when I came back in, she was on her hands and knees rocking back and forth! What?! Really my child, the first week I let you go somewhere else and I find a day job, you start doing big things?! This month has been a HUGE month for Annabelle. She sleeps thru the night (Thank. God.) She goes to bed around 7-730p and if she wakes it’s around 530a only to eat and then back down until 730a. She holds her own bottle for every feeding. Now that she is closer to 8mon, she has learned to sit herself from a crawling position, onto her butt to sit! There isn’t a place in the room that she cannot get to by rolling / army crawling / scooting and pulling her legs together behind her etc. She wants so badly to be mobile and crawl. She jumps so high and hard, I swear she is going to break the jumparoo but she loves it! 
Annabelle is also doing awesome at eating. I made a bunch of baby food and she eats off a spoon like a champ. She picks up puffs from the tray and eats about ¼ of them, the other ¾ end up stuck to her butt or in her lap, but the effort is there! She talks to everyone in her baby language and finds an opportunity always to smile J She is such a happy baby if you give her attention. Car rides are not her favorite. She wants adult interaction and hates to be stuck in something.. The moment she decides she is unhappy, Annabelle goes from talking to screaming bloody murder for attention in a moment flat. The instant you pick her up = She laughs. Such a rotten child. I don’t know how that happened!! ;)My girls are getting so big and I love it. Mady is starting to play with her baby sister much more. She loves her unconditionally and wants to help her with anything she needs, getting her a bottle, toy, blanket etc. It’s so sweet seeing her as a little mommy. Annabelle ADORES her big sister, she watches her and smiles, pulls and reaches for her anything she is within reach and talks and jabbers to her. Their interaction and watching them build their relationship is everything I live for. They’re my world.
